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The talk is DONE.
Would that I could say it were done well. It was all right. I think that's the best that can be said for it. I don't think I connected with them. I felt like they were expecting what I had to say and it wasn't interesting.
The prof is right; you can see everything from up front. It's vile. A semicircle of bowed heads and bored expressions. I just couldn't get them. The one really engaged guy left early to see Madama Butterfly, or I think I might have been able to scrape some reciprocal energy out of him at least. And the sole person I know from outside wasn't there.
When you're projecting and emoting and no one's responding it's like they walked in on you talking to your mirror. You feel stupid instead of exciting.
I will have to give up this idea of being better than other people at things.
}cough{
Not that I'm competitive.
I know it was part of the problem. Wanting to be the Best One. And I wasn't, and I was only the second speaker. He was much more engaging than I (was).
Howwwever. It is good practise. The debate about the article at the end was the best part. I think I at least held some good ground there. I really didn't let go even though the prof and I were in a pretty intense ideological struggle over gender position.
That bit was quite fun really. I will perhaps post about it.
{rf}
Would that I could say it were done well. It was all right. I think that's the best that can be said for it. I don't think I connected with them. I felt like they were expecting what I had to say and it wasn't interesting.
The prof is right; you can see everything from up front. It's vile. A semicircle of bowed heads and bored expressions. I just couldn't get them. The one really engaged guy left early to see Madama Butterfly, or I think I might have been able to scrape some reciprocal energy out of him at least. And the sole person I know from outside wasn't there.
When you're projecting and emoting and no one's responding it's like they walked in on you talking to your mirror. You feel stupid instead of exciting.
I will have to give up this idea of being better than other people at things.
}cough{
Not that I'm competitive.
I know it was part of the problem. Wanting to be the Best One. And I wasn't, and I was only the second speaker. He was much more engaging than I (was).
Howwwever. It is good practise. The debate about the article at the end was the best part. I think I at least held some good ground there. I really didn't let go even though the prof and I were in a pretty intense ideological struggle over gender position.
That bit was quite fun really. I will perhaps post about it.
{rf}
