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I was going to post my notes from the tasting at the wine store, but this is even better; the notes from my whine and cheeziness party. At which there was much wine and very little cheese. At the last minute, I had an overwhelming attack of Chic Panic and couldn't figure out what to do about the cheese. Grumpy Bastard pointed out that the best possible thing to do was to include a brick of Velveeta(TM) in order to bring down the pretension volume a little. (It would have been entirely pretension on my part, since I don't know anything about cheese. It's not pretension if you Actually Know.)

Yes, it's true. My test of the Emergency Party System was successful. If you didn't find yourself there, please don't think that you're on the B-list of my heart. It's only that I didn't want to risk your happiness in such a dangerous social experiment. This was a small group of carefully chosen and trained volunteers who I knew had the psychological toughness to endure. They were the astronauts of my social circle. If I cherished you a little, considered you a little too precious to endanger, please don't resent it. Now that I know I can have people over without serious psychic injuries occurring, the endless party can commence, and you will be the guest(s) of honour. Promise.

And everyone liked my dip! There's something so Good Hosty about making a good dip. For those who are curious, here is the recipe:

1 container spreadable cream cheese
2 tbsp onion soup mix (Basis for all good dips)
1/4 c (or more) parmesan cheese
1/4 c ground pecans
dash cumin
pepper

Or, in short form, 'whatever I could find in the kitchen at the last minute.' I realized later that I had that other classic dip base, mayonnaise, but this sufficed. I know onion soup mix is so last season, but, dammit, it works. And I made Rustic Cocoa Biscuits, which were also a great success. Here is the recipe:

1. Make 1 batch chocolate-chocolate chip cookies

The End.

And now, The Wine. I took the advice of the Screaming Peacock and Leirdal and had everyone bag up their wine in brown paper (for obscure reasons I have 250 brown paper bags) and number it, and then we all tasted and made notes. At the end, we unveiled the wines and people got to write down which ones they'd choose again and which to avoid like, er, well, bad wine. It was great because there ended up being eleven wines to try, which is a nice big range. Three whites, one blush, and seven reds.

Because my friends are all Terribly Clever, their comments bear web publication, I think. They said some lovely poetic things. Especially as the evening wore on.

For your textual pleasure:

1. Hester Creek Cab-Merlot ($12.99)

This is the one I picked up at the first wine tasting. It scared people. It's true, the finish is insane. It's like you're drinking a really good wine and then you suddenly have to cross the desert to get out of your glass.

-Holy Tannins, Batman! However, nice fruit in the body, just too dry

2. Mission Hill Pinot Gris (2003) ($17.50)

We were all a bit surprised that this was only pleasant, instead of stellar.

-No! Not another white shark with no bite!

3. Domaine De L'Olivette 2001 $15.95 (organic)

This was also recommended to me by other sources. It's the wine we all wish were our favorite, because it's organic.

-Dry finish. Slightly peppery. Thin. Somewhat piquant but nevertheless gentle. As I drink, this wine seems less friendly. Almost hostile, actually.
-Lots of alcohol in the nose. Very light body, short finish.
-Gutsy, almost belligerent.

4. Summerhill Pyramid winery Solus 2001 FOCH ($23.00)

Another surprise here. This is usually a general favorite, but in this tasting was found wanting. It's the one with the sun-god face on it. Usually good label = bad wine, in my experience, but this seems to be an exception.

-Lots of tannins - kind of inky, too firm
-Like Buddha. Light red, crispy, not fruity. Sour berries.

5. Goats Do Roam 2002 ($16)

Many people thought the name of this was 'Goats do Rome.' yep. That's my friends. (It's a PAPER TOWEL HOLDER!) Sharply divided opinion here. Two people, including the one who brought it, poured it down the sink. Yet:

-Like cherry picking in summer
-Medium oaky nose. Good fruit. Very peppery

But:

-Smoky, then charred

6. Long Flat Shiraz 2002 ($13)

-Deep and somewhat thoughtful. Perhaps this wine might take itself too seriously, and yet it has something of note to say.

7. It Bastardo Sangiovese ($12.99)

-Smells like an anti-stress vitamin, tastes smooth and fruity

8. Painter's Bridge Zinfandel-Shiraz ($14.95)

-Light, drinkable red
-Red but tastes like a white

9. Sawmill Creek Chardonnay ($9)

-Light and vacuous
-Makes too many promises it can't keep
-A bit bland
-It's a white wine and I don't hate it.

10. Sawmill Creek 'Autumn Blush' ($9)

-Sweet, but a bit vacant
-A patio with coloured lights bobbing in the night

1000000. (I lost count but figured this was safely higher) St. Hubertus Dry Riesling ($15)

This was my other wine, and it's still a favorite with me. People pointed out that this wasn't dry at all, but sweet and almost syrupy, so that they thought it might be a Gewurtz.

-If this wine was an angel, it would have sparkly, fluffy wings
-It's a white wine and I like it. Don't tell anyone!

--rf

All text copyright the tasters...

Goats Do Rome

Date: 2004-09-27 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Paper towl holder my arse.

...Poor choice of words. Apologies.

-f.

Date: 2004-09-27 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemon-pickle.livejournal.com
Yes, that's me. The guy who brings the Velveeta to the party. Very successful outing, if I may say.

Now we just have to find tasteful ways to cook with the remaining wine. I'm thinking Pasta Night, for sure.

Much Love,
Il Bastardo Grumpy-Pants

velveety goodness

Date: 2004-09-29 05:49 pm (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
It was the perfect act of self-referential parody, both subverting and reinforcing the Party and its tropes.

How could anyone not want me in their grad school? How?

--rf

Zin-Shiraz

Date: 2004-09-28 12:52 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Ah, sigh, I really was looking for a big, jammy zinfandel, but got squonked at the LCB and the Strath. Another time. If you just can't wait, I really do recommend seeking out Bonny Doon Vinyards' "Cardinal Zin". The bottle has great art, silly writing and contains an elixir not to be missed. As for my offering, my official notes: feh. Kinda wussy, way too much shiraz. A small shame. Oh, and next time you want a truly silly wine, try the Sparkling Shiraz from Banrock Station. Great Sunday brunch wine - like a pre-made Kir Royal. Never take wine too seriously, just drink and enjoy (ideally in good company).

\i/

Re: Zin-Shiraz

Date: 2004-09-28 05:10 pm (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
Actually, I was one of the people who quite liked this one. Although every time you say 'jammy zinfandel' I start drooling in a deeply refined way. I keep thinking about those big shortbready cookies with the jam in the middle from Patisserie Daniel.

Both of these further suggestions sound brill. I think I'll have to have a Sunday brunch just to try the Banrock Station.

And I have to fill up my new wine racks.

--rf

Date: 2004-09-28 01:34 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I'm quoted! I'm quoted! Yippeee!

A very successful "do" by the way. That dip is, if not to die for, at least worth some severe personal injury.

This is a great list, and will Come in Handy.

I can't believe I told my fatal illness story. Apologies. I was intoxicated, or I NEVER WOULD HAVE TOLD. It is a good thing no one knows my mother, or I might be outed.

Stories

Date: 2004-09-28 05:12 pm (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (robot love)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
I think I told everyone else's bad stories instead, or forced them to tell. Mark of a good host? Maybe in Hell. The Devil's dinner-party, where he goes around urging you to tell awful stories on yourself.

The Devil's dinner-party. There's a theme.

--rf

The Devil's Dinner party

Date: 2004-09-28 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I am reading Paradise Lost right now, and I think Milton's rendition of Satan's dinner party would be either in a submarine or a rocket ship circling the earth. Very dizzy-making indeed. You would have to serve food that SEEMED like a main course but was really an appetiser, and a dessert that looked like a soup but was really a pastry. It would be a really hard dinner party to pull off. I sound stupid and pretentious. I am stopping now.

Re: The Devil's Dinner Party

Date: 2004-09-28 11:27 pm (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (robot love)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
But this is a brilliant idea. (You forget that stupid and pretentious is my favorite blend.) I'm not entirely sure how to do it. Serving everything in the wrong container and the wrong shape and with the wrong sauce. But all working perfectly of course.

What makes these inversions Satanic for Milton? Rather than straight-ahead misery (Food on fire again, eh? Oh, well.) Reminds me more of Blake.

Then again, very few things actively remind me of Milton.

--rf

what paper towel holder?

Date: 2004-09-28 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
"Goats DO Rome"?!!! By the Tao, that makes it worth taking to another party! I got it because i like the name - now i like it even more. The wine itself, however, i utterly hated. See photo.

A smashing (with nothing broken) success. When is the deconstructed dessert party?

leirdal

Re: leirdal's bad wine face

Date: 2004-09-30 04:28 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
We decided that the emoticon representing leirdal's face when tasting bad wine is +g

did you /taste/ that plonk?!

Date: 2004-10-04 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Why "+g"? I've never been terribly good at deciphering emoticons. I don't speak html, either. And, incidentally, who, exactly, decided this?

leirdal

Re: did you /taste/ that plonk?!

Date: 2004-10-04 09:32 pm (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
I was the other one who spat it out. the emoticon represents E.'s best approximation of your expression in the photo. Your eyes are sqinched up tight and your mouth is in an Unhappy Position.

--rf

deconstructed dessert part

Date: 2004-10-08 06:27 pm (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
Was that the one where we took the wine characteristics and made them into desserts? And then pair them back with the wine presumably (or get people to match them?) Dog that sounds like fun.

I still want to try to duplicate the easier bits of that insane tasting menu we saw.

--rf

on the unexpected hazards of wine tasting

Date: 2004-09-29 07:34 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
first, thanks for the wine list - I was far too inebriated by the end of the party to actually remember, or write down, which was what. or who was on first. It was a great party, and I would highly recommend the City of Lights for a convivial evening out.

second, I'd like to point out to any poor innocent schmucks (still wet behind the ears, as I was) that it is quite possible to get extremely hosed taking many many small sips of wine over the course of an evening. Be warned.

third, I'd like to thank >F< and the Screaming Peacock for seeing me safely home. I'd have made it eventually, honest. Extra thanks go to the Peacock, who had to listen (repeatedly, I think) to my guilt-ridden rendition of the tale about the time two friends walked me home and then were beaten up and ended up in the hospital after dropping me off.

last and definitely least - I'm not sure about your comment regarding Latin rules for prepositions but I can't find my Latin grammar books right now. (Hell, I can't find anything in my apartment right now!) Someday we shall have to sit down to a bottle of retsina (or can one still get Falernian wine?) and debate it :)

cheers, the other C.

Re: on the unexpected hazards of wine tasting

Date: 2004-09-29 05:47 pm (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
An anonymous friend (see above) introduced me to retsina, and I have to say I quite liked it. The first few sips were sort of strange, like drinking fermented seawater, but eventually I got into the groove.

(Although I think you were rather hard on the poor little octopi that gave their lives for your salad.)

On the subject of intoxication, I think we were all or many a little fooled, and a little foolish, in the most pleasant sense. And there was still much wine left over.

Regarding Latin rules, my memory is a little vague because of the intervening decade between me and my Latin class, but, correct me if I'm wrong, I think it was a rule that, like not splitting the infinitive, rests not on the internal logic of English but on a misfit between English and imposed Latin rules -- in Latin the damn preposition would usually be an affix, and so *couldn't* come by itself at the end of the sentence.

I really am dreadfully sorry about this 'other' business. I am trying to think of a better ekename for you, but I can't dredge anything good up off the moors. What is the 'other sea'? The Atlantic? What about Atalanta then? Or are you more of a Pacific temperament?

--rf

Re: on the unexpected hazards of wine tasting

Date: 2004-09-30 02:58 am (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture
And I'm off to Google 'Falernian wine'.

--rf
From: (Anonymous)
Definitely not Atalanta, sorry. Even if she was a huntress. Golden apples, my .... towel holder.

mmmm, moors....Cornwall, coast paths, cows, Tintagel
or maybe,
"where does this wind blow from?"
"off the moors of mortality, perhaps...or there's that inland sea, the heart"

Yes, Falernian wine. Casting my mind waaaay back to first year Latin class (or maybe second?), and reading the Cena Trimalchione (don't quote me on the spelling) - "Trimalchio's dinner party", where I learned that the whole point of Roman wine was to drink it as quickly as possible. (I believe the relevant phrase translated as "ten day old Falernian wine".) None of this poncey 'aging' business for the Romans. Unless you were making garum - fish sauce. Now THAT had to be aged properly. No wonder plumbing was so important to them.

cheers, the other Sea. but not the Pacific. Maybe the Caspian?

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